Just how the world works
by HyperCosmo
Summary: My summaries smell bad like your navels so maybe reading the story will let you in on what the story's actually about.
1. Chapter 1

So yes, this is Mer's first JtHM story and I have just one tiny thing to admit. Johnny's personality is a lot harder to write down than I thought it would be. Not that I was expecting it to easy. But Johnny's personality is not what you might call "weak" in this story. Oh how I worship the all mighty Jhonen. (Curses at the spell check for thinking that Master's name is a spelling mistake -.-;;)

This story is only for your enjoyment, so if you don't enjoy it, Mer gets sad and when Mer gets sad, she gets….um…sad. Oh leave me alone. It's my story so shut up. xP

* * *

Most stories start off this way…but honestly can you really imagine a better place to set a starlit night on the filthy footpath on the corner of Skum and Bagg Street? I bet you can't. Perfect place for a murder, but not worth the hassle.  
Johnny walked down the quiet foot path with the dim lights from the lamp posts casting the tall, skinny silhouette that would follow him everywhere.

**A/N:** Don't you just love how that was put?

The chilled air burned his nose and his chest heaved as he breathed in and out. Beethoven's Moonlight sonata really suited the clear full moon night and the slow tempo of the music, which flowed through his headphones matched Nny's walking pace. He kept his head down and his fists jammed into his pockets to keep warm. Just ahead, a tall, thin woman could be seen stepping out of a late night café. She fiddled around in her purse and patted the pockets in her trench coat as if she was looking for something. Her arms fell to her side as she sighed. Nny didn't pay any attention until he was stopped suddenly.

"Oh excuse me," the girl said stepping forward slightly. Johnny lifted his head and looked at her. "You wouldn't have a fag would ya?" she said, tucking a lock of her dark brown hair behind her ear to try and hide embarrassment.

"I'm sorry?" Johnny asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, um…a cigarette." The girl corrected, shifting her weight onto the other foot.

"No, I don't smoke sorry." Johnny said and kept walking. He was waiting for the "stupid fuck" or "only pussies don't smoke" comments but instead the girl called out to him an "Ok, Thanks!"

Johnny turned his head slightly to look behind him to see the girl step back into the café.

* * *

Isn't it obvious that not all people are assholes, Nny?" Nailbunny said softly. 

"Just the one person, Nailbunny." Johnny said, pointlessly examining his pencil."Funny place this world is, eh?" He said, resting his head back on the mouldy couch.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, how can one person have something that 98 per centof the world's population lacks? It's strange. She didn't even look at me as if I was some sort of freak, or really, the freak I am." Johnny said, bringing his feet up onto the couch and hugging his knees.

"Sounds similar to somebody of whom you felt that rare emotion of love towards." Nailbunny pointed out.

"Mmm…although, all this lady wanted to do was bake her lungs in tar."

There was silence as Nny started picking dried blood out from under his finger nails.

"It won't change though." He said gruffly.

"What won't?"

"This world and the immaturity of those organisms who pitifully roam it. Something so innocent and so easy to achieve has been blinded by their own stupidity and ignorance. This case, respect. Why is respect always an issue? That girl showed me respect and it was so easily achieved by accepting the circumstances instead of making it worse."

"She can't change how the world works, Nny."

"I know, because everywhere, everyplace, even heaven and hell. Full of fuckers.

"You just have to deal with it Nny. The polite way. What you do is not necessary." The floating bunny head said softly. Deafening silence filled the room once more.

"…you would have killed her anyway." Reverend MEAT spoke up. A grin spread across Nny's sharp face. He got up and walked towards the basement door on the other side of the room. He grasped the door handle, pulled it open but stopped and turned around.

"Perhaps you're right Meat." He said sharply as he leant against the open door. "Perhaps you're right."

Nailbunny had disappeared and Reverend Meat stood silently in his place. Johnny pulled out a knife and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Ok before you ask, there's going to be absolutely no romance between that girl and Nny if I decide to bring her back in. I think I should. Anyhow, my typing annoys me so I'll stop and you'll tell me how you think about this story so far. Your flames will be laughed upon since nobody likes you anyway.  
x  
Mer 


	2. 2nd encounter

Mwaha, I'm back and I've had this chapter ready for ages but I was too lazy to submit. Ah, SUE ME! I dare you…

Await no longer xDD

Melanie: Oh you think so eh. When I was writing the first chapter I was thinking to myself "Ok…what pisses Johnny off the most…" Obviously assholes and lack of respect. But true, I will expand as the story progresses. ONG!1 what are you doing with my mouse pad!

* * *

"Let me go! What ever I did, I'm sorry ok!" 

"Why must you plead for your innocence when you know perfectly well what you did?" Nny said in almost a whisper. He laid his head on the flat side of his blade and smiled up at the man he held hostage.

"Because I AM innocent, fool. And no, I don't know what I did."

"Why the personal insults? It's simple really. Reel your mind back to this morning at 9:15am outside the park. You and your little god stinking friends decided to have a party. I walked past and you SPAT AT ME!"

The guy struggled in his chains. "That was you! Gosh man, that wasn't me! That was Graham! Please, let me go!" he screamed.

"Oh," said Johnny. "I'm sorry, but since you're already here, might as well continue what we started eh. Now…where were we?"

"You were about to let me go?" The guy said in hope.

"WRONG! Good try though, I respect that"

The guy had no time to scream as Johnny flicked the switch that was connected to the wires protruding from the guy's stomach. The man exploded and Johnny stood smiling as the blood dripped down his face.

"That was fascinating. Ergh, I need coffee."

* * *

"Good evening sir and what would you like?" the cashier at the Café on Bagg street asked.

"Just a coffee please." Johnny said, searching his pockets for more money.

"Oh well we have, Coco blend, full blend, fine grind, taste of Africa, International Roast," The cashier went on for about two minutes. Johnny stood there looking somewhat amused but getting fairly annoyed each second.

"Rich gold blend,"

"Ah how about we just skip the coffee and I'll go with a cappuccino."

Johnny sat down at a near by table and started sipping his cuppa. Hoping to make the enjoyment feeling last was quickly thrown out the window when a complete stranger turned up at his table. He was a stupid looking guy with oversized ears, an acne problem and his eyes were too close together. Johnny looked up and stared at the gawking face.

"Can I help you?" He said in a low tone.

"Uh, no." The guy said a couple of seconds later. "Is anyone sitting here?" he asked. Johnny groaned. '_Well, you're nearly finished' _he thought.

"Doesn't look like it." He said taking another sip.

"Oh good. My name's Rodney or Rod. Some guy called me Ney. Totally not cool."

"Oh really." Johnny said in a mocking tone. He didn't like this guy.

"What's you're name?" Rod asked.

"Johnny .C "

"Well, Johnny .C, what do you think of chicks?" Rod asked leaning closer to Johnny.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know, Women man, like ah…chicks, girls, dames!"

A group of girls walked past giggling like hyenas.

"Hey baby, wanna see what's happening?" Rodney said, slapping one girl on the ass. The girl slapped Rodney over the side of the head and kept walking. Johnny looked disgusted. "Do you always treat women in that way? As if they're nothing but sex toys?"

"Uh duh? What else are they good for? Have you ever had a girl? By the looks of you, I totally doubt it."

Johnny reached into his coat pocket for his knife but stalled as he remembered what Nail Bunny had said.

"I mean, dude. Come on! What's with all the black? And are you wearing eyeliner? I guess that makes you a Goth. Pssh, no wonder you can't get a girl…you're a freak."

As soon as Rodney said that, Johnny; as quick as lightening jumped up and kicked the table into Rodney. Rodney stumbled back and hit the pavement, hard. Although winded, Rodney tried to get up but Johnny grabbed him by the hair and slammed him against the wall.

"Have you been a prick all your life?" He growled.

"Please, don't hurt me!" Rodney stuttered. "I was only joking! I didn't mean what I said."

"But you hurt my feelings!" Johnny answered in a pathetic tone. "And it wasn't very funny."

"Come on man. You've must have had worse insults in your life!"

"So it was an insult."

"Yes…I mean No, I mean…come on man, there's some more hot chicks coming down the road. Dude, you're cramping my…"

Rodney didn't have time to finish his sentence as Johnny stabbed him through the stomach and didn't pull out the blade until it went straight through. There was a tiny clink as it hit the wall behind Rodney, paralyzing him instantly. Johnny kicked his to the ground and drew the knife out.

"One, the way you treat women is repulsive." He spat, slashing the back of Rodney's neck. Johnny kicked Rod onto his back and drew out another knife from his coat. "Two, my personal life is none of your business," He drew the knife through Rod's cheeks and out the other side, then pulled it out ripping the sides of Rodney's mouth. "Three, YOU SPAT IN MY EYE WHEN YOU SAID PSSH!" He ended his rant by stabbing Rodney straight through the eyes. The girls who were walking down the road saw this last bit happening and screamed. The noise was deafening. Johnny spun around.

"Would you shut the fuck up…please?" The girls stopped screaming and ran back the other way. Johnny caught a glimpse of the girl he saw the other night. He wiped his knives on Rodney's shirt and slid back into the shadows.

* * *

Ha! I enjoyed myself when I killed Rodney off, or Nny did. D 


	3. Chapter 3

"A mad man! We all saw him! Near the café He killed this geeky looking bloke!" A woman cried to the police officer.

"He stole my lip gloss!" one lady screamed.

"He stole my purse!" another said, the purse flying through the air as she waved her arms about.

"Ok, that sounds like fun, but I'm running out of doughnuts. MUST HAVE DOUGHNUTS!" The police man screamed. "Then we can smash his face in with a pole tomorrow."

* * *

It had been such a delicate night, all stars and the moon, Johnny. C, well satisfied with the night's events having killed one disgusting excuse for a life form, stepped forth from the shadows of the alley way. He walked mindlessly in and out of streets, not looking at his surroundings but thinking intensely. He got out an old handkerchief out of his coat pocket and wiped the remaining blood off his knives.

"Fucking polyester stripped tunic." He grumbled. Johnny stopped to lean against some wall of a large apartment building. He put his knives away and felt the cold blade through the thin stretched black t-shirt. His sight blurred as small tears welled up in his eyes.

"Great," he whispered and wiped his face on his coat sleeve. "Who am I?" he sniffed "I don't know anymore. My worst enemy is myself."

"Stop your blubbering you icicle nut." A voice beside Johnny spoke up. "HOLY NAVEL JOBS, my bladder is shitting ringworm into my brain."

Johnny looked down at the homeless person who was holding his head and swaying back and forth.

"That line sounds remarkably familiar." He thought. He squinted and looked at the book in the hobo's lap.

"HaPPY NoOdLE Boy." By Johnny. C (Yes that's right, that's me stoopid.)"

Johnny grunted and shoved his hands in pockets once more and kept walking.

**A/N:** What? You wanted me to kill the hobo? Hell no! How dare you even think of such a thing? The hobo lives! D: )

The next street Johnny turned into had much brighter lights than the rest he had past. He recognised this street. He looked up at the apartment building luring above him. He bowed to one of the windows on the 6th floor and ran his hand over the rough wall of the building. He noticed how the street was so quiet. No screaming from the glue sniffers down in the park, no cars, no shouting from that crazy psychic woman who he sometimes heard from. "Maybe she had died" he thought. Well it was very late and so much had happened over the hours. Johnny's body was getting tired but as usual his mind was wide awake.

Three men walked out of the apartment building and saw Johnny lingering around.

"Oi you!" the larger man yelled out. Johnny swung around on the lamp post and faced the men.

"Yes?"

"I have a proposition for you, bitch." They were obviously drunk. I mean, what wanka would say that when sober?

"I've always hated personal insults myself." Said Johnny smartly. "What exactly do you mean by proposition?"

"I've got a job for you..."

"He looks a bit skinny, boss. And too much of a wuss." One of the small men whispered.

"Oh he can handle it. Even if I have to make him."

By this time, Johnny had gotten bored and decided to walk away. He was suddenly stopped by the two smaller men and was thrown into a wall. The larger one came up and kicked Johnny straight in the stomach attempting to wind him. Johnny got up, to the men's surprise and threw one of his knives straight at the larger guys head. The man simply tilted his head and the blade flew straight passed his ear, crashing into a group of garbage cans.

"Fuck…" Johnny's eye twitched in surprised and by human instinct, began to run. The other two men started to chase him once more and Johnny spun around with his second blade in his hand. He slashed at the first man and ripped his face, ear to ear. The man grabbed his face and staggered back into the other. Johnny jumped and kicked the man in the temples. The man fell to his death on the pavement.

"ROBERT!" The biggest man shouted. "Ooh you've really done it this time." The man bellowed. The remaining two men jumped onto of Johnny and pulled him into the alley way. Johnny was thrown into the side of a dumpster. As the smaller man held Johnny down, the larger man practiced his boxing skills. The taste of blood filled Johnny's mouth and his body lay helpless to the pounding disgusting man.

"Hey! Justin! What the fuck! Fucking leave him! JUSTIN!"

**A/N:** I have a strange obsession with using the word fuck in this chapter, no?

Nny heard a woman cry. Justin turned from Johnny who was still stuck under the other guy's strength.

"Ez, my baby!" Justin grabbed the woman and stuck his tongue down her throat which he enjoyed more than she did. Ez pushed him off.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? What the hell did this man do to…" she stopped and he eyes widened in terror as she glanced behind Justin. The second of Justin's boys lay dead. Johnny tried to get up but the pain surged through his body and he collapsed again.

"You BITCH!" Justin jumped onto of Johnny and started to strangle him. Ez, in panic, grabbed Justin under the arm pits and tried pull him away.

"Get off me you stupid slut." Justin bellowed. He swung his arm hand hit Ez in the neck sending her tumbling backwards. The grip on Johnny's neck loosened and Johnny slid his leg up towards him. He kicked Justin straight in the jaw and as if my some force, jumped up. Justin's jaw was hanging grossly off his skull. Johnny cocked his head at Justin and almost looked sorry for him. That pity didn't last long.

"Pathetic individual. Of all people you choose some innocent –he he innocent- person who did absolutely nothing to you, but maybe darkened your light with my shadow as you stepped into it." Nny recited. "Though, I have my ways of dealing with utter vermin such as yourself, but don't you think someone in your currant condition should have a last word or maybe even help? Well, what do you think?"

Justin tried to speak but the stabbing pain in his jaw prevented his pleas. Justin grunted something that sounded like, "You fuck, you broke my fucking jaw." But instead all Nny heard was "You uck, you yolk my uckin or"

Johnny held his knife up to Justin's throat. "Speak FUCKER!" Johnny tormented. An insane smile spread across his face and a glint of satisfaction twinkled in his chocolate brown eyes. Justin cried in pain as Johnny stabbed him six or seven times in the neck and finally finishing in the heart. Johnny panted and tried to focus on what he had just done. A sneer replaced the look of hate on his sharp face and he kicked Justin's limp body. A pain suddenly filled his head and then darkness. Johnny fell to the ground, onto Ez's trembling feet. Ez yelped and jumped back.

"Oh god, oh god, or good lord!" She stuttered. She jumped at the sound that the plank of wood made when she dropped it. Her boyfriend lay dead and the killer sprawled up in a heap, unconscious.

"Police…ambulance….Hell, I need a smoke." She heard the sound of sirens. "Police…"

_Dear Die-ary,_

_My head is bleeding. Ah physical pain. Quite different from emotional but it's a change. I've got to get out of here._

Ez burst into the police station. "Officer," She collapsed onto the desk, trying to get her breath back. "There has been a murder. In the alley way. I don't know the street name, but I know where it is. My boyfriend's dead and I knocked the killer out. Robert and Arnold are dead also. He killed all three. I reckon I'm lucky to be alive." She panted harder.

"What?" The police man said through a mouthful of doughnut.

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR A WORD I SAID?" Ez shouted.

"Ah…yeah. Doughnut?" The police man offered.

"No! Oh, come on!"

Ez managed to drag the police man to the patrol car and they went speeding down to where Johnny and the three men lay helpless and still.

Ez trembled in her seat as she gave directions to the police officer.

"I don't want to go back there." She thought out loud.

"Ah, you'll be alright. Stuff like this happens everyday!" Ez turned and faced the police man.

"This sort of thing happens everyday…as in all the time?"

"Oh sure. We find dead bodies around here and there. You know. Some people go missing and we never find them! Once a whole café was slaughtered then the survivors were blown up. Same thing happened in 'Taco Hell' except one colleague of ours was disembowelled with cutlery. It was wacky!" Ez turned to face out the windscreen. She felt her stomach turn over.

"Oh and one time, this guy was on the toilet and someone threw an explosive into his stall and all we found of him was his legs with his trousers around his ankles. Oh! Another toilet incident! This guy was on the toilet and a giant dinosaur came and ate him."

Ez looked at the policeman once again, in confusing.

"What the hell? A dinosaur? Dude, we're not talking Jurassic Park here. You find my anxiousness funny, don't you?"

"Oh not at all. I just had a big movie night with the boys last night."

Ez couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Movie night? There is a murder out there. Obviously! And all you care about is movie night?"

"Actually, three other girls reported a murder earlier which happened around 8:30 tonight."

"My...my sister said she saw someone. She was with a group of friends….OH! Here it is!"

Ez practically jumped out of the vehicle and sprinted to the mouth of the alley way. Her mouth dropped open in surprise and her head tingled in confusion. Johnny and the three men were gone.

"Gone…they're gone…" Ez managed to say. The police man wobbled up beside her.

"So…what am I supposed to be looking at here?" He sniffed.

"Four men, four men were right here! See…here's the piece of wood I knocked the killer over the head with!"

"Well, they're not here now are they? I can't really do anything about it."

"What! You're a policeman! There are blood stains on the wall, on the wood, on the pavement…ON MY HANDS!"

"From where I'm standing, the only evidence I have linking to this killer is well, you."

"You, you think I did this? FUCK! Why the hell would I kill my own boyfriend?"

"Uh…I don't know." The policeman contemplated for a moment while Ez cursed to herself.

"I'll let you off with a warning. But if it happens again young lady…" He waved his police club in her face and wobbled back to the police car leave Ez standing dumbfounded.

"Justin." She kicked a pile of garbage bins. "You owed me fags you dumb twit!" She took out a box from her pocket and lit a cigarette and threw the box in the near by bin. She did a double take and what she saw almost made her drop her fag. There, gleaming under the dull streetlight, covered in garbage was a 10 inch blade.

"Shit." She said, blowing out smoke.

"Filthy habit to get into." Said a low voice behind her. She spun around and came face to face with…well she didn't quite see. A long skinny man tied up her limp arms and legs, threw her into his small car and drove away.

* * *

Longest chapter I've ever written. EVER! Haha I'm special.


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